Playing tourist... and partying

The last couple of days in Bahrain seem like a blur, and all the rest that I had caught up on at the beginning of the week was spent on walking and dancing.

Friday, the first day of the weekend, we sleep in a bit, but there's so much to see, and some of it Alex wanted to see as well.  The first stop was the King Fahad Causeway, which is a series of very long bridges connecting Bahrain and a couple of small islands (one is manmade) to the mainland, Saudi Arabia.  The manmade island, about halfway between the two countries, hosts the border crossing itself, so I am able to "see" Saudi, even if I can't actually enter the country.

It's fun to see that the MacDonald's here is open 24 hrs, just like the ones at the Canada/US border.

Not much chance of getting lost, especially since we're on an island...

Next stop is the Bahrain National Museum.  One of the coolest museums I've been to.  Although it's fairly small, the large hall has an aerial photograph of the entire country as it's floor, so you can walk around the whole country, and discover what it looks like from the air.  Alex is very knowledgeable about the history of the area, which of course goes back thousands of years, and the artifacts are really interesting.  The artwork and sculptures outside the building also hold my attention, and I learn so much.  Now I really want to know more about this whole region of the world!

Footnote - Just noticed October 2015 that I never published this!  Nor did I even finish it!  Will use this as subject matter for tomorrow's blog...

Life is a journey. Step 1. Done. Next.

This morning, as I perused Facebook whilst sipping java, a shared post from a friend struck a chord.  It was a quote from Ian Lawton, someone with whom I am mostly unfamiliar, but whose writings I really need to look into.  "Be kind today... to yourself, remember to be a good friend to yourself, accept that you're doing your best...be mindful of what you need and give it to yourself". Excellent advice.

So, on a somewhat damp, late October Saturday morning, after Skyping with someone very special to me, albeit way too briefly, I found myself thinking of my previous plans that had consisted primarily of the things I needed to do today, as is usually the case with me.  Filling my day with seemingly required tasks helps me to feel needed, even though if I look at those tasks, the only real requirement to complete said tasks is a little voice in the back of my head, that has been there since I was a small girl.  It sounds a lot like my mom, and it includes things like "you need groceries, and do the laundry, clean the floors and bathroom, make a big meal for dinner, practise singing, study and read for work"... etc. etc.

However, what I really wanted to do was just hang out all day, as I've been working my butt off lately, and not really taking the time to enjoy any of it, just doing things because the rest of the world expects a "normal" person to do those things.  It seems that I have temporarily misplaced my sense of purpose.

So, what to do but to consider this sage advice noted on facebook (after all, if it's on the internet, it must be true), and be kind to myself today?  What does that mean?  What would make me happy?

Well, I'm a pretty easy-going person, all things considered, although there are many who might at times disagree, especially when someone says something with an apparent lack of any thought.  Or when I'm extremely frustrated because my brain is racing way too fast with ideas or following a line of logic and others haven't quite reached the same point at the same time.  So really, when I say easy-going, what I mean is that I have many interests, and am usually in pursuit of several hobbies or ideals that interest me at any given time.

But the tag in the quote - trustyourjourney.com - intrigues me.  Lately the thought has been nagging me to pull out the Peter Pan Getaway Boots.  That could be due to the time of year, when the amount of available natural light is waning quickly, or to the weather as it cools down, or the stresses of work - year-end planning and hurrying to meet current year goals - or upcoming events.  But what if the journey I need to take, the one that require Peter Pan Boots, is one that I'm already on, each and every day?  What if all I need to do is follow the advice, instead of a trail?

Ok, wait a minute, my brain says to my body.  You have just way too many things to do right now.  You have to save for retirement, and see as much of the world as possible, and get better at photography, and brush up on your French and Spanish, and cherish your grandchildren, and continue renewing friendships that have not been well-enough nurtured, and keep a clean house, and get that promotion, and learn a bunch of new music, and get to the gym more often, and finish knitting those seven projects that you've started, and play with the cat a bit more, and put up the blinds in the living room.....  STOP BRAIN!!!

Sigh.  No wonder I'm so tired all the time.  And never seem to actually get anything accomplished (although in reality, I do accomplish a great deal, just not everything I plan to, but that's largely because as soon as I discover something, or a new idea pops into my head, or someone says something that triggers a desire to learn something, then I add another hundred things to the list).

Back to the whole "be kind to yourself" idea.  What does that mean?  Does it mean I allow my silly brain to take over and just try to stop worrying about never finishing anything, as long as I'm enjoying the moment, and if a squirrel happens by, follow that, and not think about money or what I will live on when I retire or lose my job because I've stopped following through on promises....?  Or does it mean I should try to shut my brain off more frequently, and take it easy?

That's probably step 1.  "...be mindful of what you need...".  Figure out what I need.  Figure out where I'm going.  Remember that the journey is not completely within my control, and that for whatever reason, things will happen and sometimes I should just accept those events.

Wait,  what was that first part?  "...accept that you're doing your best...".  Huh.  How about that.  I totally forgot that all I really need to do is just be myself, and not worry so much about what anyone else thinks of me as long as I'm okay with me.  Not worry about what anyone else does, because all that matters is how I let them influence me.  Not worry about anything, just do what makes me happy.  Ok this is really weird, because I know all this shit.  So why do I still question myself?

Because I'm still on step 1.  Every journey starts with a single step.  Yup, got that one down.  What might be confusing me is that I keep thinking that I already took that step and yet I never seem to get anywhere.  But all along, I've been missing something, and as I write this, I think I know what it is.  For me anyway.  And it's this.

As soon as I've taken that one step, the journey changes.  With each step, there is a new journey.  The potential for a new journey.  Every step IS a journey.  An adventure.  Every step brings into view a new perspective, even if it's only slightly different.  I continue to grow, and change, and discover, and each step and each day is Step 1.  And at the same time (this is the real part that I've been missing), each step completes the journey I was on before.  Every day, every step, every moment.  It's really not about the destination, it really is about the journey.  Every step of the way.  I can trust that it's the right journey for me.

And this is one helluva ride!