Georgina GPS strikes again

Today was a good day.  For lots of reasons.  The first reason is that I finally got to meet someone that I had "met" online a while ago, someone that shares my passion for photography, understands the role the universe plays in each of our lives, and that is a beautiful "outside" soul.  We decided, after spending several hours together, that we are soul sisters, and I can't wait till we can get together again!

The second reason it was a good day is that I started accepting the loss of my friend, Simba.  He was my saviour for a few years, and a friend, and my feline soulmate.  But all good things must eventually come to an end, and today I was finally somewhat ok with that.  It was hard to say goodbye, but all endings are also beginnings, and sometimes the hardest thing to do is let go of something that is holding you back, just because it has been a source of comfort in the past.  Even if it later becomes a source of extreme stress.  The only sure thing in life is change.

Now, my life is less encumbered with responsibility than before, and at the same time less - or more accurately, differently - full.  I was able to stray and meander and not worry about time on my way home from meeting my friend.  Free to explore - as much as the waning daylight allowed.  And explore I did.  It was rush hour, so the last place I wanted to be was on a highway, and the weather, even though it's January, was holding up with no precipitation and above freezing temperatures.  So, why not?

This post is simply meant to track where I explored, so that I can go back to the same roads and see what it looks like in the daylight, and hopefully when the weather is either full of snow (instead of the mud and slush of today) or in the spring or summer.  It was an absolutely amazing drive, showcasing horse ranches, hills, winding roads, small historic towns, lovely vistas (I hope), beautiful estates, historic businesses....  and I simply can't wait till I can do the same drive again.  Here goes, best as I can remember, and with the help of my GPS, which tracks where I have driven - sometimes, and partially - for long drives.  Here goes.

From Jennifer's house, I found my way to Highway 9, heading west, and just to the west of Hwy 27 I headed south on Concession Rd. 10.  This is a gravel road, but worth every square inch of mud.  It leads to the small town of Lloydtown, which I simply have to visit again.  It appears to be a small community of really big homes, large lots, and beautiful tree-lined "streets".  Stunning. Georgina guided me to turn right on Rebellion Way, then right again on 19th Sideroad (the roads curve, probably due to the lay of the land).

From here, I turned left onto Halls Lake Side Rd., and left again to stay on that road past more huge beautiful homes on large properties overlooking high vistas.  Then left for a brief drive down Mt. Wolfe Rd., then right onto Old Church Rd.  I was supposed to stay on that road for several kilometers, but there was a detour - the road suddenly ended in a construction zone - and I had to turn left on Hwy 50, then right again on Castelderg Side Rd, then right again on Airport Rd.  When I hit a tiny community - ok it was really just an intersection with a couple of houses - just south and east of Caledon East, Georgina told me to turn left on Old Base Line Rd., a.k.a. Peel Road 12.  This is where it got pretty interesting.

Just past the Caledon Country Club, I started seeing all kinds of "no stopping" signs, not just every couple of kilometers, but every few meters.  I got the hint, you'd better not stop anywhere - but why?  And why were there tons of fences and gates and all kinds of things trying to keep people out, off to the left?  (South and east)  Between Chinguacousy Rd. and Creditview Rd. there were literally kilometers of "no stopping" signs, and the speed limit was 40-50 kph the whole way.  So slow down but don't stop.  WTH?  I needed to check this out when I got home.

It's the Cheltenham Badlands.  Who knew?  We have Badlands in Southern Ontario?  Really?  OK, this I absolutely must check out when the weather warms up and I have daylight!!!!  Not sure where to park, but hopefully those gates and fences will open up in the right season.  It's probably just dangerous this time of year. 

OK, from that point, the drive loses a bit of interest.  How can you beat Badlands that are hidden by darkness and mysterious roads that you can't stop on?  Google Satellite view is showing that there may be other hidden treasures in the area too, maybe famous people have secret hideaways lol!

Georgina tells me to turn right on Mississauga Rd., and that feels wrong, but she usually has a pretty good handle on things, so I follow along.  Good thing too, because a little ways up the road there is a beautiful old church on the left, fully lit up, and a sign announcing it as "Melville White Church".  Well, the "white church" I had figured out, but I'm going too fast to see what the whole sign said, other than that it was old.  Google says it was built in 1837 - which is pretty dang old for this part of the country.  I think I need to check this out in the daylight too!  And see if maybe there's a photo opp for a sunrise? 

Next up, the small historic town of Belfountain.  How do I not know about these beautiful little historic places?  There is so much work to be done to explore my own area of this amazing country before traveling overseas again.  And sharing the beauty of this area!  Yes, there is even a Belfountain Conservation area that is not far from another beautiful park nearby, Forks of the Credit, where one of my most popular photos was taken last summer.  I'm beginning to think this area might be worth an entire weekend come summer time.

In Belfountain, Georgina told me to turn left on Bush St. (RR 11), but next time I go up to that neck of the woods, I should check out the Google Satellite view and explore Forks of the Credit Rd., Dominion Rd., and Puckering Ln.  Possibly Escarpment Side Rd., and Caledon Magnetic Hill.  ????  Oh, wait, there's a Southridge Trail that looks interesting too!

Well, as it turns out Bush St. turns into Wellington Rd 52, which leads me out of the exploration zone and into the small town of Erin.  From here, there is little of interest - and not just because I have driven through here many a time. 

And so ends a lovely day, full of life and love and new places to explore further.  The future is bright!

What is this supposed to mean?

Some people strongly believe that "everything happens for a reason".  Well of course it does.  It's called cause and effect.  If you don't believe this, then you must believe in fairy tales, and magic, and complete randomness.  But even I must admit that there are times when that "reason" is somewhat mystifying.  And that coincidence can be a little nerve-rattling.

Take this morning for instance.  Ok, maybe I should step back a bit and admit that my life has been on slightly shaky ground for the past few weeks.  Things went a little crazy back in November when my employer announced that my services were no longer required.  Ya.  And that was ok, because I was ready to move on, but I hadn't found anything to move onto, yet, so it has been kind of mind-bending to suddenly be completely on my own, and not really even a direction set.  See, I've been thinking about what my next career move should be, and testing the waters, but hadn't really found what I was looking for.  So that was the first curve ball.

My gut reaction was to jump into my first passion, photography and becoming an artist, but that's never an instant income, and for most, it's not ever an income.  So I've had to face a bit of reality, and also needed to take a rest break (not a vacation, just catch up on some sleep and reset).  For a couple of weeks, I allowed myself to sleep a bit later, spend more time thinking about what should happen next, and all the while trying hard to trust my journey and accept things that came into my life as opportunities.  Signs.  Roadmaps.  Except that there weren't a lot that were showing up - other than photography signs, and that I put down to getting back what I was putting in.  I was working on images, sharing them, and then getting positive feedback.   A lot of it.  Still, I made excuses about why this wasn't going to work, and slowed down, and the emotions started creeping in.  Feelings of inadequacy, rejection, self-pity, guilt for not doing more to keep the job I had. 

I wasn't seeing the signs because I stopped looking.  I knew in my brain what my possibilities were, but it actually became overwhelming, it felt like I didn't need to see the signs, I already knew what they were.  Or I thought I did. 

Then yesterday it all kind of came crashing in.  My cat, who was once upon a time my "saviour" from feeling down, has been acting out, and the stress of this bad behaviour peaked.  My level of tolerance has been breached, and I had to make a decision.  My health and sanity, or him.  Guess which one is going to have to win?  But man, that just sucks.  I still haven't come to grips with it, even though I know I have to make the move.  Still, it's like a weight is being lifted.  Like so many decisions I've made in the past few years have been around this silly cat.  Much as I love him, I need to love myself more.

Cue this morning.  I slept in, hoping the cat would behave for me for a couple of extra hours.  Fortunately he did, otherwise I probably would have lost my mind.  Yesterday, I'd been praying for guidance, asking for help, from whatever greater being (God, universe, karma.....) makes up those reasons for things to happen.  Watching for a sign.  Willing to trust again and believe that something will help guide my thinking to action. Some people find it easy to always know the right thing to do at the right time.  Sometimes, I can do this too.  Other times, it's a struggle, especially when faced with too many choices.  But it was as if when I made one decision, as hard as it was, I was suddenly able to see again.

One step.  I just needed to take one step.  And then another.  This morning, I took the second step, and started working on a project that will hopefully help with providing a small income and maybe even grow to be a bigger one eventually.  In the process of turning idea into action, I opened a bookshelf door, looking for a book that wound up having no meaning and no value, and finding this one instead.

Where on earth did this come from?  I have absolutely no memory of purchasing this, or receiving it as a gift, or even opening it to see what was inside.  Indeed, the spine had not been cracked even a little.  If I had purchased it, was it for someone else?  Who?  Had I intended it to be self-motivating?  If so, I should remember it, and why would it have been tucked away?  No, I'm pretty sure that it was by some magic that it appeared in my bookshelf, and that the reason for it to be there was for me to find it on just this day, and in just this way, and at a time when I needed to see it. 

You see, the inside jacket cover explains the purpose of the book.  It was actually a graduation speech, but it suits perfectly anyone who is at a crossroads in their life, and that certainly describes my life right now.

"For out-starting upstarts of all ages, here is a wonderfully wise and blessedly brief graduation speech from the one and only Dr. Seuss.  In his inimitable, humorous verse and pictures, he addresses the Great Balancing Act (life itself, and the ups and downs it presents) while encouraging us to find the success that lies within us."

Maybe, just maybe, I will find inspiration to take step number 3, and know which direction to take.

Tiny First Steps

Small changes, made consistently.
Small changes made today - a public statement of intention, to live more simply, more joyfully and more spiritually.  Sharing one of my favourite photographs from 2017.

Ever since I took this photograph in France last September, I had been holding onto it.  It had been placed in a "Scavenger Hunt" contest, no prizes, but wasn't allowed to post it publicly until the contest was over.  It's over now, and I wish in some ways that I hadn't hidden it away, that I had used a different image. 

I love the story of this monk.  I want everyone to have their own story about this monk.  Tell me your Monk story.

Finding focus

Originally, this blog was intended to be a travel blog.  Just for me, to remember the places I've been, the things I've seen and done.  I've missed a lot of travel recording here, been to many places that I haven't blogged about, even though I said I would.  Time gets away from me, and I wind up shooting more photographs and relying on that to be my memories of the place and time.  But that's not good enough.

In the past 14 months, I've been to Las Vegas twice, San Francisco (for a day), New Zealand, Chicago, France, Chicago again, and Halifax, NS.  Considering the thousands of photos I've taken, there is hardly any reference to any of these here in the blog.  Whaddup, Su?  Hmm, good question.  No answer.

I'd love to go back and start updating and trying to remember things in order but that's just not possible.  Especially not with the way this brain works.  And especially because of the mind shift I've been going through lately, and the need to stay in the present, allow the past to stay in the past and just use that as a foundation for learning and moving forward.  Not that I'm anxious to have the next day come early, nor am I wishing my life away.  Quite the opposite.  I'm learning instead to make each moment count, and move through life in the tiniest of increments possible.  Maybe I better try to explain that so I know what I meant when I read this again tomorrow.  Or in three weeks, or five years.

Remember the story of the donkey in the well?  I probably don't remember it exactly, except for the lessons learned from it.  (And that's what it's all about, it has absolutely nothing to do with the hokey pokey).  The first lesson I  learned is that if you fall into a well (or someone puts you there), and then starts dumping dirt on you to try and bury you, just keep climbing up on that dirt until you get to the top.  Step on the things that are trying to put you down, and use them to keep going up.  Simple, right?  Uh, no.

But it is growth nonetheless.  Growth in a different way than what we are accustomed to thinking about, perhaps.  We think of growth in terms of physical changes to a person's body.  Spiritual growth is (to me) a change in perspective and learning to nurture (ourselves, others, our souls).  Intellectual growth is learning.  Career growth is "moving up the ladder".  But what of the growth of our lives in general?  Each day, we grow through time.  At least, that's how I've come to think of it.  Staying stuck in the past, thinking about how all that dirt has been piled on us, will just bury us.  We can't go up, if we don't step on that dirt.

So, do I need to go back and try and remember all that stuff?  Nope.  It's still a part of me that will come out in future photos.  In the way that I see, and capture, and share.  And I can pull out those photos (cuz they are NOT dirt) and enjoy them and it will bring back the feeling of wonderment that I sought to retain in my head and knew I couldn't.

Second lesson learned from the donkey in the well.  Seemingly small, incremental changes, repeated consistently over time, will add up to not just a bigger change, but potentially a complete transformation. Examples that are so easy to see:  Learning just about anything, the metamorphosis of a butterfly,  knitting or crocheting an afghan, losing weight or body-building, penny saved is a penny earned.....  It seems that in the past generation or two, western society has become absolutely mad about "instant" change.  Plastic surgery, liposuction, winning the lottery.  No one wants to have the patience for long-term, sustainable change.  And, they want someone else to do the work for them.  Me?  Guilty as charged, at least sometimes.  It's infectious, that desire for instant change. 

The title of this post is "Finding Focus".  I think that's what I'm doing in life as much as I'm doing with photography.  Figuring out what's real, what makes sense, who I am?  Nah.  Just simply figuring out what I see that I want to make the subject in this moment.  Which direction am I taking a step toward right now.  What is capturing my attention and how do I hold that and move from the present to a better future each and every second and how do I let go of the past at the same time.  What is the most important thing, no matter how small, that could lead to that transformation at some point in the future?

So, in 2018....  ok that's just silly.  For today and tomorrow, I will focus on making each action count towards positive change.  That was a period at the end of that.  To start, even if I can do that at least once each day, I will count it as a success.  And if I can capture that in simple terms at the end of each day to remind myself of those little successes, those little actions towards change, then it will remind me of how far I've come at the end of the week, and then the month, and then the year.

Let's go.