Just in case

 

Of course when one travels, one finds themselves in the final few days before departure trying to think of everything to ensure readiness.  Give it up.  Either you are ready or you're not.  Readiness has nothing to do with knowing what to take and making sure you have it packed, thinking of every possible scenario and thing you might need to ensure you take it along JUST IN CASE.  In case of what?  Do you live your life like that?  Do you buy every possible thing that's out there so that you have that thing JUST IN CASE?  

No.  Of course not.  If we did, we would all live in places that looked like a hoarder's paradise, and never use any of what we bought.  Oh wait.....

Ok, so maybe I have, in the past, indiscriminately purchased the odd item that I didn't really need, but there was a remote possibility of needing it at some point in the future, so it went home with me JUST IN CASE.  And when traveling, or preparing to travel, there is soooo much temptation to take along all the things we think we might need JUST IN CASE of something happening and we can't get that thing where we're going.  Which in some cases may be true.  I'm guessing that it may not be possible to find our favourite peanut butter in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, or a specific brand of granola bar in the Sahara desert.  But for the most part, in all my travels, I have rarely, if ever, even thought about most of the things I've taken along on my travels JUST IN CASE.  

In fact, I have had a small toiletry bag packed with pretty much the same things for over 20 years, including such things as a couple of bandaids, (JUST IN CASE I get a blister on my heels when walking), travel sizes of things like Downy wrinkle releaser (because wrinkles are soooo terrible), a small sewing kit (JUST IN CASE I have to sew a button back on), and nail glue (JUST IN CASE one of the fake nails I never wear comes off and I have to glue it back on again.)  But guess what?  90 - 100% of the things that I have had packed in that little bag I have never, ever even noticed they were there.

Considering how frequently I've ever needed to sew a button back on, maybe 5 times in the last 40 years, the likelihood of needing to do it while traveling is infinitessimally small.  Sewing kit - gone.

Since I don't remember the last time I wore fake nails - that nail glue is gone.

Downy wrinkle releaser - I don't travel for business anymore, and even when I did, I simply ironed my dress clothes - and business casual (wrinkles and all) has become the norm, so...... gone.

JUST IN CASE I thought any of this mattered to anyone..... the point is that I was going through life trying to be a good boy scout and Be Prepared for every possible scenario that I could think of - and the reality is that I don't know what's around the corner when I'm not traveling, and I don't prepare for those same possibilities.  I don't have fake nails or nail glue in my at-home drawer, so why would I need it when traveling?  I don't have a full size bottle of wrinkle releaser, in fact, I don't remember the last time I had the ironing board out.  And bandaids?  I just threw out a whole box of bandaids because they were so old they weren't sticking properly anymore - and I couldn't remember the last time I had a blister or any other reason to use a bandaid.

JUST IN CASE doesn't exist.  Furgeddaboudit.  Live.  If you find yourself in need of something you've forgotten to take along on your travels, you'll probably be able to buy it wherever you're going - unless of course you're going to the deep jungles of Africa, and even then, I wouldn't be so sure.  Humans and their commerce have infiltrated almost every corner of the world.  I recently saw a photo of a massive cruise ship - in Antarctica.

JUST LIVE.  I'm going to New Zealand for a month with a backpack and a carryon.  Why?  Because I don't need anything else.

New Zealand - coming right up!

 

In three weeks, I will be on my way again to a place that has intrigued me since I was a child.  New Zealand.  Many other countries are on my list, and yet, even though I have been twice, I am super excited to go back.  I know that much has changed since I was there the first time.  In fourteen years (wow, has it really been THAT long?), immigration laws have changed and the demographic is vastly different, and the population has boomed.  Tourism has increased dramatically, making it far less inviting to visit the typical touristy places (so gratefully, I have already seen most of them at least once).  This all has it's benefits - it means that there are more public washrooms in more places, more availability to services, roads are better (when I first went there, most roads on the south island were tar and chip, now many are paved and wider).

It also has it's downside.  Everywhere will be busier, taking photographs will not be quite as pleasant.  There will be more people to remove or try to crop out (unless the intention is to photograph them), landscapes are not as clean and natural as they once were.  It's more difficult to find spaces on tours etc. (although we don't plan to take many).  Parking, restaurants, etc. will be harder to find spaces in.  But...

We will be there for 4 weeks this time.  Yes.  Still can't believe we've been able to make this happen.  I would so love to have our partners going with us, but my partner is otherwise engaged in his business, so we are making this a girls trip.  And that means doing whatever we decide to do when we wake up.  We have our route planned, rental cars, interior flights and scenic rail trips booked, but other than that, we are open to suggestion.  

We (my friend Linda and I) are still super excited.  It will still not be as crazy as it is almost everywhere else.  And we are approaching our time there very differently this time.  WE are very different this time.  

Yes, we want to see the gorgeous scenery, experience wildlife and nature as much as possible, enjoy the cuisine and culture, but we also are really looking forward to taking our time and enjoying the ride.  Being flexible about what we do, and what we see.  Focus on the path less travelled, going to places many people either aren't aware of, or aren't interested in taking the time to go there.  

We will be taking the Scenic Drives as often as we can.  We will be hiking the short trails as much as possible (we're not as young as we were before!).  We are trying not to have a rigid schedule so that we can detour and take the scenic drives.  We're staying in one place a little longer, rather than a single night here and there and driving allllll the time.  

My photography has grown leaps and bounds - certainly since my fist time there.  My gear is better, my approach, artistry, confidence and perspectives have all grown.  I'm more relaxed.  I strongly believe that in order to truly enjoy a vacation like this, you need to be relaxed before you go.  If you go when you're stressed, you'll still have that stress on your mind and cannot be mindful and intentional about the experience, and are less likely to remember it.

I've also been writing a LOT more since then - not here, I haven't been ready to share everything I've written, but I'm getting there.  Life has had it's ups and downs, and I've changed my perspective over the years on that, too.  I'm not here for anyone else, I don't write or photograph or create or think or do for anyone else.  None of us should.  I'm sure I'll share more of my thoughts on this later, but for now, I'll just say that I'm not being selfish, or even self-involved or self-centered, I'm just putting on my own oxygen mask first.  

Looking forward to sharing more, and hopefully bringing along a few of you with me, and maybe even enticing some of you to make the same trip for yourself - or another trip.  

Looking forward, 2024

It seems like a perfectly natural thing to do, making a New Year's Resolution.  Using the calendar change as a catalyst to change something about our lives that we don't like, or want to improve, or just to use as a motivator for change.  Something about the hype we are subjected to makes us feel like this time, we can make that change, because we have a starting point that is instantly recognizable - a date that is easy to remember, January 1 of the new year.  So why doesn't this work?  For the same reason as making change starting any other time of year is difficult to make work.  In fact...  it may be even more difficult to stick to the change if it is made as part of that New Year's goal setting, or resolution, or whatever you frame it as - because it's a running joke - how long can you stick to that resolution?  No one does, so why should you?

Most years, I don't set a resolution, however, I do usually try to "reset", recharge, set some goals, refresh my vision board, or any number of other reasonable facsimiles of a New Year's Resolution without calling it that.  I know I won't likely stick to it for very long, but I usually come up with an equally long list of excuses.  Something else came up, don't have time, life happens, things change....  But realistically, it is usually because I'm not willing to make the change long-term.  Few of us are.  We have lofty goals because we (often) have just had a few extra days off work, spent some rejuvenating time with family, are sensing an overwhelm of food coma and lazy naps and the effects of living as though "it's just this one last time before I get healthier in the New Year".  And then New Year's Day hits, and we have tons of energy and some extra time to focus on those new goals - for a day.  And then we go back to work, and back to our old habits.

So this year, I'm not changing anything.  I am, but I'm not tying it to New Year's Day, or goals, or a resolution based on the past.  I'm looking forward.  I'm focusing simply on priorities, priorities that are based on values, ethics, choices, mindful and conscious decisions that are contributing simply to the best thing I can do for myself right now.  Because, life isn't forever, and we don't get to choose very much of what goes on around us, we can only choose how we react to that.  And in the past few years, that has been very difficult.  Climate change crisis, global pandemics, a spike in unethical and criminal behaviour victimizing more and more people, war, racism, so many social and cultural and political issues.....   

I can change only a tiny little bit of that.  I can influence - maybe - by making sure going forward that I minimize my environmental impact, take care of my physical self by nourishing it with real food and only what I need to be healthy, protect my privacy and financial affairs by securing my public information and remaining aware of online threats, and disconnecting from those who exhibit racist, angry or derogatory behaviour.  As I have tried to do my whole life.  Hopefully, more and more people will also focus on these priorities if they are not already, but I am not here to change the world.  I am here to make sure I do not make it any worse.

Happy New Year.  Every.... single.... day.

New Year's Eve in Blenheim

Update:  Although this is being published on Dec. 31/23, it was written almost 7 years ago.  Why am I bothering to publish it now?  Because it is a memory from the last time I was in New Zealand, and I am getting ready to return there, and don't want to lose a single moment of that time.  Much has changed in 7 years, the vineyard has been sold, our friends now share different parts of our world, and I am no longer single. The journey of life continues....

From January 21, 2017:

Gary and Bridget's smiling faces were waiting for us as we came down the gangplank (ok, stairs) to the luggage pickup area.  It was so great to see them again!  It had only been a couple of months since I had seen Gary as we drove The Strip and had supper in Vegas when I was there back in October.  But I hadn't had one of Bridget's wonderful hugs for a couple of years, and I was overdue.  By this time, it was fully dark, so we couldn't really see much on the drive from Picton to Westview.  BTW, Westview is not the name of a town, it's the name of their vineyard.  Love it.

When we got to their place though, the sky was still completely clear, and with virtually no light pollution, it was blanketed with billions of stars, and the Milky Way was easily visible.  (Think of Carl Sagan as you read that sentence.... especially "billions"....)  We showed Linda the Southern Cross constellation, and Bridget reminded me that Orion there is upside down from what we see and they call it something different there (can't remember what!).  We stared and enjoyed till our necks had kinks and then the fatigue and jet lag kicked in and it was off to bed.

Westview worked it's magic on us, and the morning dawned bright, clear and warm.  While Bridget has to work today, Gary is happy to show us (mostly Linda, I've had the tour once before) the vineyard.  He is, as always a wealth of knowledge about viticulture and wine-making (and wine drinking of course).  We have a chance to see the grapes as they are just finished blooming, and the different types and varieties have different shapes to the bunches, and some are more dense than others.  

A new adventure - Prince Edward County

 

I'm waaaaaayyyyy behind - not just in documenting the most recent adventure to PEC (Prince Edward County, in Ontario, Canada) but in pretty much, well, life.  But because this is the most recent adventure - albeit a week ago, and things have happened since then - I thought I'd start again with this.  In some ways, I wish I had journalled more throughout the week.  I was simply too exhausted for the first few days.  That's ok.  Sometimes you just have to take care of your body, mind and spirit by allowing it to rest, and making that the priority.  So I did.  And I'm glad I did.  I'm glad I gave myself permission to not think I "had to" do anything.  Mindfulness is starting to kick in.

So, for this post, I'll just share the actual journey, not the events (well, maybe a quick note on the event).  Because I didn't actually document anything, and my memory isn't what it used to be, I'm depending on Google maps Timeline feature to remind me where all we travelled, and stopped, and hopefully I can fill in the blanks in my head later.

Sat. Sep. 17/22 - 

• First stop, EggSmart a block away for breakfast.
• From EggSmart on Homer Watson Rd. in Kitchener to Port Hope, ON, where we stopped at an En Route for a very quick lunch and bio break.
• Stop in Carrying Place, ON at a small vintage place
• Stop at the Bed & Breakfast, Ard Macha, to check in, unpack, refresh from the long-ish drive, and decide where to go for supper.  
• County Canteen in Picton for supper.
• Back to B&B for the night.

Sun. Sep. 18/22

• Taking County Road 7 east from the B&B, our first stop was at the side of the road near Prinyer Cove, and then again shortly after on the same road to photograph birds and boats in the Cove.
• Continued to County Road 8 around the end (sort of ) the peninsula to 5th Town Cheese Co., sampled cheese and bought a few culinary treasures, honey, crackers, jams and mustard.
• Next door we stopped at The Cape Winery, where it was raining slightly, and we went ahead and had an outdoor wine tasting, while watching 4 gray kittens tumble over each other, and the two cows and large hog in a pen.  
• A bit further along Rd. 8 we stopped at the Rose House Museum, however, it was closed.  Beautiful, though, and hopefully we can go back next time we're in the area.
• In Waupoos, we started at the Waupoos Winery, but their lunch was too large for what we wanted, so we went across the street to the Cressy Mustard Company and ordered a sharable poutine - which turned out to be enough for 5 people - and a hot dog each - and we could have split that too.  
• We followed Rd. 8 back to Picton, and found Macaulay Heritage Park, which was also closed and it was still raining.  We wandered the grounds, peered in the windows of the historic home, read the signs, vowed to return some time (which we never did), and then continued on.  
• We opted to find The Local Store on the recommendation from our hosts, and enjoyed it (some purchases made) but didn't find either the antiques nor the fine art to be anything we wanted to take home.  
• Spent a few minutes at County Traders in Bloomfield, a vintage store with mostly furniture.  Interesting place with interesting items.
• Next up was Dead People's Stuff - which sounded way better than it actually was.
• Stopped at Kinsip Distillery, where they had great tastings, things to take home and funky chickens.
• Back to Picton, explored the marina and saw a black-capped night heron.  Then we stopped briefly at the Arts on Main Gallery and thoroughly enjoyed the many artists' work on display in this co-op.
• Up to Lake on the Mountain and walked around the park area and lookout, then went to Miller House for a charcuterie board and some wine.
• Stuffed, tired, back to the B&B.

Mon., Sep. 19/22

• First stop was the Tim Horton's in Picton for coffee
• Straight to Wellington, where we hung out at the marina for a while to see if we could find any birds.
• Side Street Gallery, where there were some beautiful pieces of art, and I think I bought a couple of small things (lavender soap?).  Maybe this was the place with the Dutch door?
• Next door we stopped at a small house that had been converted to a small business that did wine tastings of local wines, and had an extensive selection of wines and culinary delights - some of which did come home with us.  Decanter PEC, house was built in 1848 and they had put this in tile in the front hallway.  Wait, we were drinking wine before noon?
• Out in the country, west of Wellington about 5 kms we found By Chadsey's Cairns, a gorgeous old barn that was home to another wine tasting, and a bottle was purchased - was it a Reisling or a Gewurtz?  Those were the only two they had, as they were retiring.
• Driving further west along the Loyalist Parkway and we found Sandbanks Winery - and I love their Baco Noir.  Another wine tasting (three before lunch?  Sheesh!)  Some winery exclusives were a must to take home.
• Back to Wellington for lunch at the Midtown Brewery, for me, a shrimp roll.
• North along the 2 to Carson's Garden and Market, where they had a small nursery and lots of interesting gifts and curios.  Can't wait to try the Raspberry drink mix.
• We had heard there was another distillery so we set out to find it, and did.  Stillus, which is Ukrainian owned and they had vodka, gin and perogies (perogies were only on the weekend though so we never did try them).  I had a very interesting tasting and Steve had a cocktail.  Should have bought the key lime vodka.
• Heading back toward Picton and ran across Huff Estate Winery, but we were feeling a bit like we didn't really need any more alcohol.  We did go into the Art Gallery there, Oeno, and saw a few pieces we really liked, and a few surprises.  2 Maud Lewis for sale and 1 Group of 7 for sale.  More on that later.
• Back through Bloom field to Picton, where we stopped briefly at the marina, then found Coach's Pub for dinner.  We sat in the back, and that was interesting.  Pretty good food, but did we really need one more drink?  Not really
• Back to the B&B where we just kicked back for the evening.

Tuesday, Sep. 20/22

• We had decided to go to Kingston today and purchased tickets the night before, and made the reservation.  Fastest way was to take the Glenora Ferry.  From there we followed the Loyalist Parkway east all the way to Kingston, parked and walked to the pier where we picked up the Thousand Island Cruise.
• Spent the afternoon cruising through the Thousand Islands.  A cool and very windy day - except around the Admiral Islands area, where it was sunny and much calmer.  
• The live music was a bit much as were the selfie takers.
• Arriving back in Kingston, we wandered, shopped - including a couple of new zunimals and a tshirt for Steve at the Lighthouse gift store, wandered through a very eclectic antique store, found a stationary store that had no pens, and finally went for dinner at Chez Piggy.  
• Driving back to the B&B was mostly uneventful, the ferry was on it's way back to our side when we arrived, and there were very few cars.  A quick trip across and a short drive back to Ard Macha.

Wed. Sep. 21/22

• A gorgeous day, so let's find some nature and maybe go for a hike.  First up, McDonald's for coffee.
• I point us south, toward the Point Petre Provincial Wildlife Area, which turns out to be fenced off, and part of an old Army Reserve.  But we find our way to the beach, where it is miles of bedrock limestone, perfect for walking, and there is no one else around for about an hour.  Lots of great pictures, awesome find!  
• In search of lunch, we stop at Lighthall Winery, where they have wine and cheese pairings.  Although it's not much, it's at least a little bit to keep us going.
• Long Dog Winery is next, and although the wine tastings are interesting, they have no food.  Cool place, tucked away.
• Collier Collection Antiques was interesting, but we only spent a few minutes there.
• Driving along Old Milford Rd we noticed a yellow shed that appeared to have turned into an art gallery.  Aiden Haley was a delightful gentleman who had painted for most of his 85 years.  
• Back to Picton, where we decided to check out Gus's Diner, another recommendation by our hosts.  Unfortunately, having eaten at Chez Piggy the night before, Gus was, unfortunately, a bit of a lunchbag letdown.  
• Back to the B&B, where we sat out on the upper balcony for quite a while, enjoying the warm evning.

Thursday, Sep. 22/22

• First stop once again is McDonald's.  This is getting to be a habit.
• Next we stop at the Metro grocery store to grab a couple of sandwiches, as the plan is to be in an area where there is little chance of finding a place to eat lunch.  We're glad we did this.
• A short stop at the Little Bluff Conservation Area to use the facilities and a short hike along the top of the cliff, and we find that we can go back on the same admission.
• We've opted to visit the Prince Edward Point Bird Observatory, where Steve's intel has indicated he may see some migratory birds.  It's at the end of the road, and we spend a good portion of the day there, getting some cool shots (no birds, however), get a good hike in, lots of fresh air, and see some very interesting abandoned buildings.  
• Stop in again at Little Bluff C.A. and walk around some more, get more pictures from the beach this time.
• We decide to go back to Lighthall winery and pick up a bottle of the sparkling white that we had tried, but they had already sold out.  Oh well.
• I had seen signs, and ads, for Honey Pie Hives, an apiary that had Mead, which I've always wanted to try.  We tried it, and that was enough.  But the Buckwheat vinegar was amazing!  Better than Balsamic!  And the hand-dyed yarns...  uh oh.  And tea, and of course honey, and soap.....
• Back through Picton we stopped again in the area of the Macauley Heritage site.
• We both thought of the same place for supper, the Waring House restaurant.  The food was very very good, the place was super busy, and they had live music!  It was a loooong night though, the server seemed to be exceptionally busy, but we enjoyed it.
• Back to the B&B.

Fri. Sep. 23/22

• Earlier in the week we had driven past a place to the east called Red Roof Gallery.  As we drove past (no Open flag out front) I had emailed and they said to just come in.  We got sidetracked that day, but the artist did watercolours, my favourite, and I wanted to see it.  So I called and he thought it would be ok if we stopped in.  What a treat!  Loved his work, and we each bought a piece.  I think we made his day.
• We backtracked from the art gallery and went west again, this time stopping first at McDonald's.
• I had hoped to check out a Pioneer Village in Ameliasburg, and we were not disappointed.  It was very well kept, we were the only guests, and we saw some great artefacts.  One interesting aspect was the taxidermy special exhibit.
• We headed south from here, just wandering, and came across the Grange Winery - well, I had googled looking for a winery with food, and this place had a food truck - gourmet food trailer was more like it.  We opted for a glass of wine (no tasting) to drink with our lunch, and thoroughly enjoyed sitting out in the sun and having our treats.  The venue was gorgeous.
• It turns out we were on Clossen Rd., and country road that had several interesting places along it as neighbours.  Our next stop was Old Salt Cocktails.  What a cool place!  We each had a cocktail that was mostly booze, but it was yummy.  And such a beautiful spot to just sit and relax.  
• Next we visited Prince Edward County Lavender, a delight for the senses.  Many treasures were found here and brought home, including a couple of small gifts.
• Closson Chase Vineyards was the best of them all, a beautiful barn, perfect sunlight (although by now I had a pretty serious sunburn on my face, not enough sunscreen!), fantastic wines, seated outside and our tastings were selected at the table and brought to us instead of us standing along a bar.  Gorgeous place.  
• One more winery, this time Broken Stone, one which had been recommended by the other couple staying at the B&B.  More tastings, more delight.
• We had been searching for a winery with pizza, as we kept seeing "Wood fired Pizza" signs in front of all the wineries - except the ones we visited.  So we went back to Picton and had pizza at 555 Brewing, which was good, but apparently we missed the best - because they were closed.  Maybe next time.
• By the time we got back to the B&B we were both dead tired, we'd had a bit too much to drink, too much sun, and we just wanted to rest.  We shared a little maple whiskey from Kinsip with our host, and then begged forgiveness to simply go to bed.  

Sat. Sep. 24/22

• Our last full day in the County and we were ready to slow down and take it easy.  I had been wanting to browse the shops on the main street in Picton, much like I had done years before in Picton, NZ, and so we started off with a coffee from Tim's.  While Steve was at Tim's, I tucked into a second hand store and found a few treasures.
• Dollarama for foam core boards to keep our new watercolour art treasures from bending.
• After this we found parking on the main street, and wandered in and out of a number of fine retail stores, me buying way too much but it was all worth it - I can't get these things anywhere else!  And of course a lot more window shopping.  Soaps, and yarn, and books...
• Lily's Cafe for lunch - fantastic place, we will go there again.  We wish we had been able to stop there earlier as they had sandwiches and smaller fare.  
• We opted to spend some time just winding down so went back to the B&B and found some outside space to relax, read, and of course, Steve had a nap.  It was glorious, although the AirBnB next door had new people outside in the pool.  Fortunately they were not rowdies, and were actually playing classical music for a while.  The cool air coaxed them inside after a while, and we were undisturbed.
• Dinner was at Bloomfield Public House, another place to return to and enjoy.  But next time we'll make reservations, fantastic food!
• Back to the B&B for a good night's sleep.

Sun. Sep. 25/22

• After yet another wonderful breakfast and great conversation, we headed out on our way home.  On the way we had a few stops we wanted to make, the first being Andara Gallery.  It was really a studio gallery, with a husband/wife artist couple showing their works.  Wonderful work it was, he did encaustic art - very good, we both loved it - and she was a photographer.
• A bakery close by, Taste of Country, offered a place for a bio break, and lots of good eating!  Some cheese bread, cherry bread, and a couple of jams may have made their way into the car.
• Stopping at an On Route in Newcastle offered a chance for another bio break and some lunch, just a bagel, as we'd had such a large breakfast.
• Steve had heard there was a bird hanging out in Col. Sam Smith Park in Etobicoke, so that was our next stop, and we had a chance to stretch our legs.  The skies coming over the city were very dark, but we managed to miss the rain - and catch a rainbow over the yacht club next to the park.
• Homeward bound at last, dinner on our last night was easy, fast and cheap - a quarter pounder with cheese for me and a bacon deluxe cheeseburger something for Steve at the Golden Arches.  
• Home at last.

Photos and details to follow.

The Frozen Tree

She was a former movie star. Songs had been written about her. Every year in December, people everywhere celebrated her and adorned her with lights and jewellery of all colours and shapes and sizes. Her love for other creatures shone in the way she provided warmth and shelter to any living thing that needed it. Whole communities of beings just like her were everywhere, standing tall, supporting each other, doing what they did best - breathing for everyone else, and purifying the air, and whispering to each other their ancient secrets.

But after only a few years, the job became overwhelming. There were fewer and fewer of her, massacred in huge numbers by man and by fire and by exhaust and they started to die, younger and younger. And the exhaust exhausted her and others like her. It stopped raining like it used to, and the sun shone hotter and she could no longer keep up, breathing for all the other creatures to live.

She started to fade. Even though she was still pretty young, she was fading. And her younger siblings had less and less of a chance of survival, let alone becoming movie stars. Many of the youth in her community had been sent there, as though to a refugee camp, instead of being born there naturally. And although that was still better than not having anyone else for many centuries, these new young things didn't know the culture, they were displaced, and what was left after the massacres took a while to accept these new creatures from other places.

And so the communities declined even further. Even in places where there was strong growth, the old stories, the ancient purpose of breathing for everyone and everything, of being, of community, was gone, replaced by the projected purpose of serving man. She tried hard to remember what it was like, to pass it on to the next generation, to help the new young things understand the true meaning, but all she had was this old, faded memory.

And she faded.

And froze.

And felt as though she was drowning, with only her head barely alive.

Back to basics

 January 1, 2021

Well, if this is going to be a blog, maybe I should write in it more often.  And since travel (geographically and physically) is going to be out of reach for a while longer, I may as well admit that the human race has traveled to a weird place as a species in the past year.  So, here goes...

Back to basics. Each year on the first day, people set "New Year's Resolutions", which last for varying lengths of time, anywhere from 1 day to a couple of months. I used to do that too, but then I discovered I was more successful at making changes in my life by setting targets or goals, and then determining how changing my behaviour could help me reach those goals. But then, that stopped working too. The past year has been tough on everyone, and I'm no exception. Covid-19 introduced a new level of behaviour modification - sometimes good, and sometimes with negative effects. Many humans that should have been setting good examples behaved badly, triggering an avalanche of yuck. A lot of people have been lumping everything into "2020 was a bad year", but really, it's not any worse than the years of other pandemics (like the Black Plague, or Typhoid, or any number of wars that saw thousands or millions of deaths). So, as the past year came to a close, and there was hope for the current pandemic in the form of new vaccines, and a new president-elect of the U.S. that appears to be more.... well let's just leave it at that. This isn't intended to be a political diatribe, just my random thoughts about what a new number in the "YYYY" field means to me. The clock ticked forward, but really, life itself hasn't changed much. No more than being one year (one day) older. Unless you change it. Let me repeat that so it sinks in. Life won't change, unless you change it. Sometimes, that's really hard. Accepting that maybe decisions you made in the past aren't working for you anymore, and changing your mind. That's ok. What worked yesterday isn't necessarily going to work today or tomorrow. Passions that you held onto for a long time may fade, that's ok too. You may have new passions. You may be able to leave some responsibilities behind. You need to let old negativities die. People you have lost are still gone. Make new memories.

Back to basics. I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. As life has slowed in the past year, and as I watched how wildlife behaves, and how nature works all by itself, and how humans behave, and think about how humans are always questioning everything from "why am I here?" to "what can I do to make more money?". My question becomes, why is human nature so much different than nature? My answer is - it doesn't. Or rather, to me, it shouldn't.

If you watch nature, and wildlife specifically (because it is more in the same timing as humans), everything lives for one reason, and one reason only. To live. Simple. Easy. I started thinking about this more seriously back in the summer, as we watched a pack of wolves from behind one-way glass, with the wolves in a protected area but living as naturally as possible (other than hunting wild game for their own survival). I watched and learned, tried to learn, something that humans have not needed to understand for millenia, that the object of life is not to become wealthy, or have more than anyone else, it is simply to live, and then, when it is time, stop living.

We fill our time, in first world countries anyway, with pursuits that wind up becoming our passion, and then our whole way of life. We've forgotten - because we can - that those passions are really, in nature, just a way to fill the time between needing to feed our bodies, care for our bodies and those of our offspring. In lean times, or in lean places, caring for our bodies can take most or all of our time. In centuries past, before mass production and distribution of food, and the replacement of the necessities of life with money, feeding and caring for our bodies took a lot of our time. Money was only invented as a way of purchasing the things we need to live when we couldn't produce it ourselves. And over the same centuries, humans have found ways to hoard and stash and steal to have more money than we need, because we have forgotten that all we really need is to live. If only everyone could understand that the things money can buy do not add any years to your life. It doesn't keep you alive any better.

I started looking at my own life. At my priorities, my passions, my values, my goals. And I started thinking about what it might take to feel more satisfied. More alive. More natural. More content. I have so many wonderful things, everything I need to live. And yet I question. And if I'm questioning, then those who have enough for many lives (and yet they can only use one), must also continuously question. I cannot help anyone else. I can only do what I can in my own life to get back to the basics of living. Taking care of my own body. My own spirit, my own space. That means caring also for my home, my financial stability (not wealth accumulation, that would be extra), and my own pack (family). Once I've got that taken care of, then I can play. If I have anything left over, I will share with those who are not able to care for themselves.